For the record, this is going horribly.
That being said, I recently stumbled upon this marvelous quote from Albert Camus :. “Chaque excès diminue la vitalité, donc la souffrance. La débauche n’a rien de frénétique contrairement à ce qu’on croit. Elle n’est qu’un long sommeil.”
Authors. How do they get inside our heads?
My first reaction was “No, you cannot do this to me.” One cannot, in the middle of a lengthy and slightly uneventful description, decide to insert this perfectly worded yet painful truth.
How do you feel when you’re hungover? I have long ago gotten over the physical discomfort, mainly because it usually consists only of a headache and (this is the terrifying part) welcome the exhaustion, for it includes a certain fatigue of my mind. Like my body is telling my brain that today, there is need for peace and quiet on all fronts, that all the issues that have been racking it can wait until tomorrow. It’s not the kind of thing you realize until, I suppose, you start to understand your excessive drinking has less to do with a good time with friends and more with the luxury of numbness guaranteed for the morning after.
But oh! What joy it is to go to bed after a day of lying on the couch treating a pounding head and knowing that you will fall asleep almost instantly!
It is so not about living every moment to the max. It is a long sleep, an attempt to make everything a little less intense and poignant, diminuer la vitalité.